Hurt
by Hylen
Summary: Don's relationship with his best friend is complicated. When she starts to struggle he is there to help her. Will their friendship turn into more? Set five years after season five finale. Flack/OC
1. Chapter 1

**AN: Okay. First off, this is set five years after the season five finale. Second, this fic deals with the development of a mental illness. Throughout the fic, there will be mention of alcohol abuse, promiscuity, and self-mutilation. If that bothers you then please don't read it. The rating is M for these reasons. Thanks and I hope you enjoy!**

**Special Thanks to Brinchen86 and afrozenheart412 for helping me out a little. Super special thanks to Brinchen86 for reading this beforehand and reaffirming my faith in the story.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except Kristina and the story idea.**

* * *

Kristina Young walked through the bullpen of the 12th precinct. It was her second favorite place next to the crime lab upstairs. This was the same precinct that her entire family had worked in for years. And now she was there.

Kristina had been working in the lab for a couple of years now. Although her father had wanted her to strictly be a detective and eventually a captain, Kristina loved the lab. Chemistry and math had always been her best subjects in school. So when Mac Taylor had offered her a position as one of his detectives in the lab she couldn't turn him down.

Of course, Don Flack had made fun of her. He had told her that she would turn into a nerd if she worked there. Kristina had kindly reminded him that some of his closest friends worked in that same lab. To which he replied that he was very aware of that fact and that they were all indeed nerds.

'I'm only looking out for your well-being' Flack had told her. That statement had earned him a playful punch on the arm.

Kristina loved Don Flack to death. Their fathers had been partners way back in the day, so the two had more or less grown up together. Even though Don was a good ten years older than Kristina, he had always included her when he hung out with her brothers.

This was something that never changed even as they had gotten older. If he wanted to go out for a couple of beers or to shoot some pool, Flack always called Kristina. Thanks to this, she had already known most of her colleagues at the lab before she even thought of working there.

It was Don Flack that she was on her way to see. Kristina smiled as she approached his desk and saw him hunched over it. He was writing something in his left handed chicken scratch that only she seemed to be able to decipher. She walked up to him and cleared her throat causing him to look up.

"Kris!" Flack said with a smile. "To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"You, dear Donald, are taking me to lunch."

"Was this something we planned and I just forgot about it?" he asked looking a little concerned. Flack never forgot plans with Kris.

"Nope, I was just hungry and I realized that we haven't had lunch in forever so I decided to let you buy me food."

"Awe, how generous of you," he said sarcastically.

"I know. I'm an extremely generous person," Kristina said with a smirk.

"Okay wiseass. If you want me to buy you food, then we better get going. I've got a ton of paperwork to do today."

At that moment Kristina's cell phone went off. She glanced at it and groaned. "Looks like I'll have to take a rain check. Someone just fished a dead body out of the Hudson."

Right after Kristina said this, Flack's phone rang. He looked at it and smiled. "I just caught the same case. Why don't you run upstairs, grab your kit, and meet me at my car. We can grab a slice on the way."

"That sounds great! I'll be just a few minutes." Kristina gave Flack a small hug and left to head back upstairs.

Flack watched her leave and smiled. He really loved that girl with all his heart.

* * *

"Ya know as good as this pizza is, you still owe me a decent meal," Kristina said to Flack as she took a huge bite.

He laughed and said, "Okay, how bout I come over to your place tonight and cook dinner?"

"Hmm… that sounds like a plan. But why don't I just come over to your place? That way you don't have to carry everything to mine." Kristina noticed Flack tense up as she said this. She knew exactly why he had done it. "Don, it's been five years. You still haven't let another woman in your apartment?"

"No." Flack sighed. He turned in his seat and looked her in the eyes. "I just can't do it Kris. I'm not ready to move on. I don't want to move on. I really cared about her. I think I was starting to fall in love with her. And then it was all taken away from me."

Kristina sat there silently and listened to him. She knew exactly what he was talking about. Exactly how he felt. She was the last person that would push him to move on.

"I hope you know that I'll always be here for you Don; just like you were there for me."

"I know Kris. Thanks. Love you."

"Love you too."

Flack wiped away the tears that had started to form in his eyes and started the car. "We better get going. Otherwise people will get the wrong impression of our relationship."

Kristina laughed at the idea. Their relationship. They had an extremely complicated relationship with an equally as complicated past. She wondered if that would ever change.

* * *

_Several Hours Later_

"No! I swear to you it was Sam's idea to put it under your pillow! I was just the stupid, young child who did what she said," Kris pleaded.

"But you actually put it there!" Flack exclaimed.

"Okay maybe that's true, but how was I supposed to know it would affect you that bad? To be honest that's what we were trying to find out. We wanted to know just how allergic to cats you are. And apparently a single hair under your pillow is enough to keep you up sneezing all night," Kris teased.

"You're a bitch. You both are," Flack said lightly. Although she knew he was teasing, Kristina faked a hurt look. "Oh don't even! I know you're a robot and nothing gets to you."

Kristina just laughed at that comment. In all honesty, he was half right. At least that's how she used to be. She noticed that is expression suddenly got serious.

"Kris…" He started to say something, but his voice trailed off. He sat there and silently worked his courage up again. "H-how long after Nate died did you start dating again?"

Kristina was taken aback. This was the last thing she had expected him to talk about. It was still a difficult subject for her. She could imagine how hard it was for him too.

"Honestly? I still haven't started dating again. I mean, I've had a couple of flings here and there, but no real dating. Of course, you already knew that. Why do you ask?"

"I don't know. I mean what you said earlier about it having been five years and I still haven't let another woman in my apartment. It got me thinking."

"You don't have to explain. If you did, you'd be preaching to the choir. Christ, Nate died almost ten years ago! And I'm still not dating anyone. I'm worse off than you are."

Flack smiled. "We really are pathetic aren't we? At least we understand each other."

"Like two peas in a pod. But yeah, we are pretty sad," Kristina said with a laugh. Flack threw a piece of broccoli at her and it landed on the floor. "You are so picking that up mister."

"Oh yeah? Make me," Flack replied crossing his arms.

"Seriously? You're going to sit there and act like a fuckin five year old? Fine then. You don't get any of my alcohol." Kristina smiled. She knew she had won with that statement.

"Oh that's okay," Flack said. He got up and went into the kitchen and returned with a bottle of tequila. "I brought my own."

The look of shock that appeared on Kristina's face was enough to make Flack laugh. He walked over and picked up the piece of broccoli. As he stood back up, he paused at her ear and whispered in it.

"Don't worry. I'll be a nice five year old and share."

* * *

Kristina walked into the locker room and slowly sank onto the bench in front of her locker. Her head was pounding and she knew that if she even caught a whiff of food, she'd be hunched over a toilet. She knew that Flack was probably feeling the exact same thing at that moment.

They really should not have had that bottle of tequila. Or the bottle of vodka. The bottle of wine with dinner would have been enough, but no. They just had to keep going. She laughed as she remembered the drunken conversation they'd had the night before, right as they were going to bed.

_"I'll just be going home now then," Flack slurred._

_Kristina looked at him and laughed. "Donald Flack, there is absolutely no way you can drive right now. You can barely stand up. You are staying here tonight. You can get up early and go change for work," she insisted._

_"Well if you insist," he replied as he made his way to her bedroom. She grabbed his arm to stop him._

_"What in the hell do you think you're doing? You are not sleeping in there!"_

_"But Kris, I need a good night's sleep. I have to work tomorrow."_

_"You can sleep on the couch Don, or you can leave. You and I both know exactly what'll happen if you sleep in my bed."_

_"What like it hasn't happened before?" he snapped at her._

_"Oooh Don, don't you dare start that shit with me. We can not get into this now."_

_"Well when are we going to get into it Kristina?" He didn't call her by her nickname. He only did that if he was angry. "We've never talked about what this is between us."_

_"Look Don, I promise we'll talk about it. Soon. But not now. We both have to work tomorrow and we're both really drunk. We just need to sleep and we can discuss this tomorrow night."_

_"Promise?"_

_"I promise."_

_"Okay, I'll sleep on the couch. Good night Kris."_

_"Night Don."_

Of course, Flack didn't stay on the couch all night. Around three in the morning he had crawled beside her in bed complaining that the couch was too uncomfortable. She was too tired to argue and fell asleep in his arms.

Kristina knew that they would have to talk tonight. Talk about whatever was going on with them. She didn't want to though. In fact, the last thing she wanted to do was talk to Don Flack about their relationship. Or lack thereof.


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Thanks for all of the reviews and for adding this story to your alerts and favorites. **

**Special thanks to Brinchen86 for reading this ahead of time. You're wonderful.**

* * *

Flack walked through the door of his apartment and tossed his keys on the counter. He threw himself onto the couch without taking off his shoes or jacket.

"God, you're so stupid!" he growled to himself.

Why had he brought it up last night? Whatever it was between them never seemed to work out and he had brought it up. Kristina had promised they would talk about it tonight, but their shift quickly turned into a double and then right as they were leaving Flack caught another case. If he hadn't known her better he would have thought she was avoiding him.

Flack got up and poured himself a drink. Something was wrong with Kristina, aside from her usual problems. Of course, she didn't have to say anything for him to realize that. He could see it in her eyes. Flack glanced at the calendar that hung on his fridge and sighed. Tomorrow was going to be a rough day for both of them. He knew she would need him. And he would need her. Just like every year before.

* * *

Kristina was halfway through her third bottle of beer. She had successfully avoided Flack all day. She knew that she promised they would talk, but she just wasn't ready. Plus, she knew that they would see plenty of each other tomorrow.

She glanced at her calendar. Tomorrow would be awful for both of them, but they would deal with it like they always did. She would drink all day. He would drink all night. She would promise herself that this year would be the year she didn't call him and ask him over. He would promise himself that this would be the year he didn't say yes. She'd cave and call him and he would give in and say yes. He would come over and they would fuck each other. They would try to make each others' pain and hurt go away, but they would fail. They'd fall asleep in each other's arms then wake up in the morning and pretend like nothing happened. Just like every year before.

* * *

At the moment Flack and Kristina were miles apart, but their thoughts were with each other. They were both thinking about what they knew would happen the next day. It would happen whether they wanted it to or not. No matter how many times they tried to stop, they just couldn't. They lay in their beds thinking about each other, and drifted into a fitful sleep.

* * *

As Kristina opened the door, Flack noticed that her eyes were a bright, emerald green. They only turned that color when she was either drunk or crying. Although in this moment, he knew the cause was probably both. He knew because he had been doing the exact same thing before she called him.

She stepped aside to let him in and he closed the door behind them. Without thinking he pulled her to him and held her in a strong embrace. They stood there for a few moments, crying in each others arms before she moved her head slightly and kissed him under his chin.

"Kris…" he said as he pulled away. Before he could say another word, Kristina put a finger to his lips.

"Don please. Don't. Not now." She looked at him with a sadness in her eyes he had never seen before. It broke his heart to see her like that. Why was she affected by this so much more this time? What had changed?

Kristina slowly wrapped her arms around his neck as he wrapped his around her waist. Flack leaned down and kissed her softly, but the kiss quickly deepened. He moved his hands down over her ass and easily picked her up. She tightly wrapped her legs around his waist as he walked into her bedroom.

Flack gently laid her down on the bed and began expertly removing her clothes. It wasn't difficult because she was wearing the same thing she always wore on this day. A pair of boxers and a t-shirt that had once belonged to her fiancé. At the same time she unzipped his jeans and slid them, along with his boxers, down his legs. They never broke from their kiss, except to remove their shirts.

Flack slowly dipped a hand between her legs to make sure she was ready and then entered her. There was no foreplay. Neither of them wanted it. They weren't making love. They were having sex. Attempting to comfort each other and make the pain go away.

Tears of pain and sadness fell from their eyes as they succumbed to their orgasms. They both lay there for a moment, spent and crying.

"Why?" Kristina asked breaking the silence. "Why did they have to leave us? Didn't they know how much we would hurt? Or how long it would affect us?" Flack's tears fell freely. They always did when she asked these questions.

"I wish it didn't hurt so much. I wish it would finally go away," he said as he moved to lie beside her.

"I don't think it will ever really go away Don. I think it will get easier for us to deal with, but it will never really go away."

"Is that why you wear his clothes every year?"

"Yeah. I feel like I need to be near him. At least on the anniversary of his death. You know what I mean?"

"I know exactly what you mean. I have this scarf that she left at my place. I didn't get a chance to give it back to her before…" Flack's voice trailed off as he looked away. It was still hard for him to talk about. It had been five years and he could barely hold himself together.

"Do you think it's weird that they died exactly five years apart?"

"It is kind of weird. But at the same time it brought us together."

Kristina groaned. She knew where this was headed. "Don…"

"No. I get it. 'Not now'. You know I never seem to bring this up at the right time, so I'll just wait for you to bring it up." Kristina winced slightly at the hurt in his voice.

"Don I'm sorry. It's just I really do not want to talk about that right now. I'm going through a rough time at the moment and I can't deal with that too."

"Kris, what's wrong? I've noticed that something's up, but what is it? You aren't your usual self."

"I know. I don't know what's wrong with me. I've just been really depressed these last few months. Maybe it's because I know that it's been ten years since he died and I still haven't let go. Maybe it's something else. I have no idea."

"Look Kris. You know that if you need me I'm here for you. You can call me anytime and I'll be here."

"I know Don. Thank you," Kristina said releasing a yawn. "Now let's go to sleep. I'm dead tired."

Flack chuckled. "Okay. I'm actually pretty tired myself." With that he wrapped his arm around her and they quickly fell into a deep sleep.

* * *

When Flack woke up the next morning Kristina was gone. He assumed she had already left for work, so he got up and helped himself to what little food she had in her kitchen. He was actually surprised by the lack of food. Didn't she eat when she was home? He searched around and didn't see any signs of her ordering takeout. He knew that she wasn't one to eat out all the time. What was up?

Flack had to admit that he was starting to get a little worried about her. He decided that he would figure out what was wrong with her as soon as possible. He went ahead and showered there, knowing that she had a change of clothes for him. When he was finished he quickly got dressed and then left the apartment, locking the door behind him.

* * *

"Hey Kris!" Flack called. He almost winced at the look on her face when she turned around. She looked like shit. Of course, he probably did too.

Her expression softened when she realized it was him. "Hey Don. What's up?"

"You wanna go get a slice? Or a burger? I bet the grease'll do us both good."

"Um, sure. I've got to go see Adam about some results on my case, but we can head out after that. Okay?"

"Sounds good. I'll just come with you and we can leave straight from there."

"Oh alright. If that's what you want to do."

"Kris, is something wrong? Look if you don't want to go we don't have to. I can just go eat by myself." Flack looked hurt. It broke Kris' heart.

"No Don! That's not it. I do want to go eat with you. I was just caught a little off guard. Usually I'm the one initiating lunches. And it's almost never up here in the lab. Look, let's just go get those results and then we can talk about everything over lunch."

"Alright. I like that idea. Let's go."

* * *

**AN: I just finished the last chapter bringing the grand total to 7. I have decided that there will be a sequel to this fic. Thanks for reading!**

**~Jess**


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: Thanks for the reviews and for adding the story to your favorites/alerts! Special thanks go to Brina (Brinchen86). You really do rock.**

* * *

"I have a box that I keep in my closet. It has everything that reminds me of us in it. Every ticket stub from every movie or concert we went to. I kept his favorite t-shirts and boxers and his Yankees cap. One of our wedding invitations is in it along with the binder our wedding planner made. And my ring." Kristina smiled as she said this. These were all of the things that reminded her of her late fiancé. Nathaniel Hastings.

"You really miss him don't you?" Flack asked, even though he knew he didn't need to.

Kristina nodded. "Yeah, I really do. He was the love of my life. You know that stupid saying 'time heals everything'. Well that's bullshit. It's been ten years now. And it still hurts like it did the night he died."

"That's exactly what it's like for me. Jess died five years ago and I don't feel any better. I've learned to hide it, so nobody knows what's goin on. But the pain is still there," Flack said, the lingering hurt evident in his eyes.

"You can't hide it from me," Kristina said bluntly. "I can see the pain in your eyes. It's the exact same pain I see every time I look in the mirror."

"I know. Because I know that you try to hide it from everyone too, but you can't hide it from me," Flack retorted.

"You know I think that's what makes you my best friend," she commented with a smile.

"Oh is it just that? And not the fact that we've known each other for almost thirty years?"

"Donald Flack how dare you remind me of the fact that I am almost thirty!"

"Seriously? You're going to sit there and complain about being almost thirty? You realize that means I'm almost forty don't you?

"Of course I do. But it's easier on guys than it is on women," Kristina said.

"What is?" Flack asked a little confused.

Kristina noticed this and just rolled her eyes. "Aging dumbass! Guys get sexier with age. Women just get… old and ugly."

Flack spat out his drink. "Okay it's official. You're crazy! Come on I'm admitting you to Bellevue right now."

"How does that make me crazy?"

"Because you're going to sit there and tell me that you're ugly. Trust me Kristina. You are an extremely sexy woman." Flack didn't know what had gotten into him all of a sudden. The only time he even hinted that Kristina might be sexy was when he was drunk. He must be losing his mind.

"Aw Flack, you're makin me blush."

"Hold up there. Since when do you call me Flack?" he asked.

"Well, since when do you call me Kristina when you aren't angry? I assumed we decided to use the names our colleagues call us," Kristina replied lightly. Flack just laughed at this.

"I hadn't ever thought about it before. Do I really only call you Kristina when I'm mad?"

"Yup. But only when you're actually mad at me, so it doesn't happen very often," Kristina teased.

"Yeah okay wiseass. I'll show you angry," Flack threatened.

"Don, your thinly veiled threats will not work on me. I know that you would never do anything to hurt me," Kristina said as innocently as possible.

Flack snorted at the sight. "Well you got me there. But seriously, you trying to act innocent just ain't workin."

Kristina rolled her eyes. "Ass."

"Oh you wanna play that game? What was it you said the other night? Oh yeah. 'You're going to sit there and act like a fuckin five year old?' How does it feel Kris?" Flack joked.

"You're so stupid," Kristina said. This just made Flack joke more.

"Oooh. You can start the fire, but you can't take the heat! I see how it is Kris. I think that's something we should fix."

"We don't need to fix anything. I can certainly handle the heat. I'm just a little hungover at the moment so you'll have to give me a few hours."

Flack laughed at this. "Come on. Let's finish eating. I'm sure everyone is wondering where we've gotten to."

Kristina groaned. "Do I really have to go back to work? I should have taken today off too."

"Yeah well you didn't, so eat. I've got a mountain of paperwork waiting for me."

"You've always got a mountain of paperwork waiting for you. Because you never actually do it."

Flack and Kristina sat in the restaurant for another thirty minutes doing the two things they did best. Eating and bickering.

* * *

_"Come on, let's just hop a plane to Vegas and elope."_

"_No! My dad is paying too much for this wedding for me to go elope. Plus, my parents are so excited about it. It's really adorable."_

"_But Kris, it's not us. Why do you feel the need to stand up in front of a hundred people we don't know and recite the same vows that everyone in the world has said before?"_

"_Because it's tradition. And it's the church that my parents got married in. Come on Nate, it really means a lot to me." Kristina looked at her fiancé's profile as he stared straight ahead keeping his eyes on the road. She watched his expression change to a lighter one._

_Nate sighed. "Fine, I'll do it for you. I love you Kristina." He chanced a glance at her and smiled._

"_I love you too Nate."_

"Kristina… Kristina!"

Kristina snapped out of her thoughts at the sound of Danny's voice. She realized that she was with her colleague in the trace lab and not with her fiancé on that fateful night. "Uh, sorry."

"It's okay," Danny said with a small laugh. "What were you thinking about? If you don't mind my asking."

"Oh no it's okay." Kristina wasn't quite sure what to say. No one at the lab, apart from Mac, knew about Nate. Was she ready to tell them? She figured it wouldn't hurt. Maybe it would help make the pain go away if she talked about it. She took a deep breath and then looked back up at Danny. "I was just thinking about my late fiancé."

Danny stood there with wide eyes. He opened his mouth to say something, but quickly shut it. He had no idea she had been engaged, let alone that her fiancé had died. What should he say? Should he say anything? Kristina saw his silent struggle and answered the question for him.

"Don't worry Danny. You don't have to say anything. Yes, I was engaged. It was ten years ago right after I graduated from high school. He was the love of my life. And he died in a car accident two months before our wedding day. Actually, he died exactly five years before Jess did. It's weird."

"Wow, Kristina. I'm so sorry."

"It's okay, I'm slowly dealing with it," Kristina said with a weak smile. She felt a little uncomfortable and decided a change of subject was needed. "So, what have you got?"

Danny took the hint and looked down at his work. "Uh, I found a few fibers. They are short and blue. Looks like they could be nylon. How about you?"

"I found two long brown hairs. I definitely don't think they belonged to him, seeing as he's bald," Kristina said with a laugh.

"They could belong to his wife."

Kristina shook her head. "Nope. She has short gray hair."

"Hmm, looks like our vic was getting a little somethin somethin on the side," Danny said with a smirk.

Kristina laughed as she put away her evidence. Danny did the same with his and they walked out of the lab. He paused in the hallway and turned to her.

"Look I'm awful at this kind of thing, but I really am sorry about your fiancé. If you need anything I'm here for ya."

Kristina was surprised. Danny was the last person she had expected to hear those words from. "Thank you Danny. That really means a lot to me."

He smiled, but before he could say anything else Flack came around the corner. He immediately saw his two best friends and walked up to them.

"Hey guys. How's the case?" he asked.

"Pretty good. We're almost positive our vic was having an affair," Danny answered.

"Well, that's good to find out. Makes the suspect list a heck of a lot shorter."

"That it does. Hey Don, I'm starving. You wanna buy me some food?" Kristina asked raising an eyebrow.

"Why do you keep making me buy you food all of a sudden? Don't you have money?" Flack questioned.

"Of course I do. But you've always bought me food. I'm just not as subtle about it anymore," Kristina teased. Flack rolled his eyes, but agreed to pay for lunch. They said goodbye to Danny and then walked to their favorite restaurant.


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: Thanks for the reviews and for adding the story to your favorites/alerts! Special thanks to Brina for discussing the story with me :)**

* * *

"Kris?" Flack asked tentatively as he walked into her apartment. When he didn't get an answer he continued.

"Kris where are you?"

No answer.

"Come on Kris, I know you're home."

"I'm in my bedroom."

Flack followed the sound of her voice, but stopped dead in his tracks when he got to her door. She was sitting on the floor with a cardboard box next to her and her eyes were red from crying. She had taken out the binder full of her wedding plans and the invitation. Her dress was spread out across her bed. He couldn't help but think that she would have look gorgeous in it.

Kristina saw him looking at the dress and started crying again. "I never got to wear it," she said through her sobs.

Flack rushed over and knelt down beside her. He held her until her cries died down. She looked up at him and whispered, "I'm sorry."

"Shh, it's okay. I'm here." He ignored the smell of alcohol on her breath. How much had she been drinking? He would find out soon enough. "Kris what's wrong? I've never seen you like this. I'm really worried about you."

"Tin."

"What?"

"Tin. Traditionally, that's the gift you give your spouse on your tenth anniversary. If everything had gone according to plan, I would be getting tin today from my husband."

The realization hit Flack like a tidal wave. Today would have been her tenth wedding anniversary. Had it really already been two months since the anniversary of their deaths?

"God Kris. Honey I'm so sorry." He wrapped his arms tighter around her as fresh tears began to fall.

They sat there until she quieted down. Flack expected her to sit up, but when she didn't he moved slightly so he could look at her. She had fallen asleep. He chuckled and moved to get up. Flack quickly put her dress on a chair and picked Kristina up. He gently laid her on the bed, pulled the covers over her, and kissed her forehead.

He went over to the box and placed everything back inside pausing to look at the invitation. He smiled as he looked at her name written in the fancy script. Flack caught himself hoping she could have that again. He quickly put the invitation in the box and put it at the back of her closet. Then he went to the chair and picked up the dress. She really would have looked absolutely stunning walking down the aisle. Smiling he hung the dress up in her closet.

Flack took one last look at a sleeping Kristina and walked out of the room. He didn't want to leave. He couldn't leave. He knew that he needed to be there for Kristina when she woke up. So he went in to the kitchen to get something to eat, but he found very little food. No wonder she constantly asked him to buy her food. She didn't have anything here. He decided this had to change and quickly made a grocery list.

Before he left, Flack decided to go ahead and take out the trash. As he picked up the bag, he heard the clanking of several bottles. He opened the bag and saw more beer bottles than a single person should have. There were a couple of vodka and whiskey bottles in there as well.

"What the hell?" Flack glanced at her bedroom door. "Kris what's going on with you?"

He shook his head and closed up the bag. Pocketing the grocery list he walked out the door and locked it.

* * *

Kristina was woken up by one of the most amazing smells ever. She looked around her room expecting to see a mess, but found that it was gone. She figured Flack must have picked it up last night. She slowly got out of bed and walked into the kitchen. There she was met with a hilarious sight.

Flack was standing in front of her stove cooking bacon and eggs. And wearing her apron. It was pink. With flowers. Kristina cleared her throat to make her presence known. Flack turned around with a big smile on his face.

"Kris! You're finally up. How did you sleep?"

"I slept great. Thank you for picking up my mess last night."

"It wasn't a problem. I also bought you some groceries. And took out your trash…" Flack's voice trailed off when he mentioned the trash.

Kristina noticed this and suddenly felt uncomfortable. "Oh, um, thanks."

Flack sighed and turned all of his attention toward Kristina. "Kris… what's goin on? Why were there so many bottles in that trash bag?"

"Don it's nothing. That was several weeks' worth of trash. Don't worry about me. I'm fine."

"You didn't look fine last night. And if you hadn't thrown your trash out for several weeks then why wasn't there any food in it? Why aren't you eating here?" Flack knew he sounded accusatory, but she wasn't taking care of herself. And he couldn't stand to see her like this.

"Just because I don't have food in the trash doesn't mean I'm not eating, Don. It's none of your business when or where I eat. And so what if I get home and have a few beers? You can't stand there and tell me that you don't do the same thing."

"This isn't about me Kris. Something is wrong and you won't tell me what it is."

"Because I don't know!" Kristina screamed. "I don't know what's wrong with me!"

She started to cry again and Flack rushed over to her. "Kris, no. Please stop. I didn't mean to make you cry. I just care about you and I want to help you through this."

Kristina looked up at him. "I know Don. But I don't know how you can help me. I don't even know what's wrong with me."

"Then I can help you figure it out. You just have to let me in. Please. Let me in." The pleading look in Flack's eyes made Kristina's heart break. Since when did he care so much for her? When did their relationship change?

"Don, I'm sorry. I just can't. I'm not ready."

Flack sighed. "It's been ten years Kris."

"And it's been five for you. What's your point?"

"My point is that it's time for both of us to move on. Kris, there's something between us. Something more than just being friends. I can feel it. And I think you can too. I think it just scares you because you're afraid that you'll forget him. But you won't. You know why? Because I won't let you. He was the first man you loved."

"That's not true."

"What?"

"He wasn't the first man I loved. You were. But you were too old for me and you were my best friend's big brother. I couldn't do anything about it so I moved on."

"Kris…"

"Look I'm still really tired. Thank you for making me breakfast, but could you please go?"

"Kris, please don't do this."

"Don. Please go."

Flack slowly took off the apron and turned off the stove. He grabbed his jacket and walked out the door. He didn't say a word. He didn't trust his voice. He just left.

Kristina locked the door and began to cry again. Deciding that she would clean up the kitchen later, she went into her bedroom. She laid down on her bed and cried herself to sleep.


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: Thank you for the reviews and for adding the story to your alerts/favorites! Special thanks to Brina for discussing it with me. The tone of this chapter is a little different from the others. Kristina has gone into a manic episode. Enjoy!**

* * *

Kristina walked through the lab while reading a file and almost crashed into Mac as he came out of his office.

"Whoa Kristina, where's the fire?"

"What?" she asked slightly out of breath. She didn't realize how fast she had been walking.

"You seem like you're in a hurry. Is everything okay?"

"Oh yeah everything's fine. In fact it's great! I guess I just have a little bit more energy that needs to get out," Kristina said with a laugh. It took Mac a second to comprehend what she said because she had spoken so quickly.

"Okay, if you're sure."

"Yeah I'm sure." Kristina smiled again and then continued to her office.

* * *

Flack had not spoken to Kristina in three weeks. At work they only discussed their cases and they avoided each other outside of work. Flack was tired of not being in her life and needed to find out what was going on with her.

"Hey Kris, wait up," he said as he jogged to catch up to her. "I really want to talk to you. Can we go out to dinner tonight?"

"Oh, um… I'm sorry Don, but I'm going out with Stella and Lindsay tonight. We're having a much needed girls' night. Maybe tomorrow?"

"Sure. Tomorrow is good." Flack noticed something different about her. He could see it in her eyes. The pain was still present, but there was also this intensity he had never seen before. What the hell was going on with her?

* * *

Flack woke with a start. He sat there for a moment trying to figure out what had woken him up, when he realized it was his cell phone. He glanced at the clock and saw that it was three in the morning. Who in the hell was calling him so late? He wasn't on call so it couldn't be about a case.

He glanced at the caller id and saw that it was Lindsay. Flack couldn't help but be a little worried. Had something happened to Kris? Were they all okay? With shaking hands he opened his phone and put it to his ear.

"Hello," he said, still a little tired.

_Don? Hey it's Lindsay._

"Uh hey Linds. What's up?"

_Stella and I are worried about Kristina._

"Why? What happened?"

_Nothing really happened. It's just how she's been acting. She drank a lot tonight. Twice as much as Stella and I combined. And then she went home with some stranger. It just doesn't seem like her, but we weren't really sure. You've known her longer so we figured we should tell you. I'm sorry I woke you up._

"Don't worry about it Linds. Thanks for calling me. That's not like her at all. She's been different lately and I don't know what's going on. I'll talk to her about it tomorrow. Thank you."

_No problem Don. Good night. See you at work._

"Night Linds. See you tomorrow."

* * *

"Don!"

Flack turned at the sound of his name and saw Lindsay walking toward him. She looked worried about something.

"Hey Lindsay. What's goin on?"

"Kristina hasn't shown up for work today."

"What? Are you sure?"

"Yeah. She was supposed to be here two hours ago. Mac is still at a scene, but I'm sure he's going to ask about her when he gets back."

Flack let out a long sigh. "Thanks Linds. Just tell him that she has a virus or something. I'll go see if I can talk to her."

"Okay. Um, tell her that we're all worried about her. And if she needs anything…"

"Don't worry Linds, I will."

Flack turned on his heel and walked over to the elevator. He didn't know what was going on with her, but Kristina would never miss a day of work without calling someone first. He was going to get to the bottom of this now.

* * *

"Kris? It's me Don. I'm coming in," Flack warned as he walked through her door. He glanced around the apartment and found that it was spotless. He started walking around, checking each room for Kristina. When he looked in the kitchen, he saw bottles covering the counters. His heart fell at the sight. She had a serious problem.

While in the kitchen, Flack heard the front door open. He stepped out in time to see Kristina locking it. She was carrying a large brown paper bag.

"Kris? What the hell is going on?" he asked her. She jumped at the sound of his voice. Clearly she had not expected him.

"Don! Hi! How are you doing? Aren't you supposed to be at work?" she said each sentence in rapid fire succession.

"I should be asking you the same thing. You didn't show up? How stupid are you? You could lose your job! You're lucky Lindsay came to me instead of going to Mac first. She's covering for you, but I doubt he'll believe her."

Kristina stomped into the kitchen and set the bag down. Flack sighed at the sound of glass hitting the counter. "Don't call me stupid! I didn't go to work because I had better things to do today. I can take care of everything tomorrow. It won't be a problem. And I'm not going to lose my job. Mac needs me too much."

Flack could not believe his ears. Was she serious? "Kristina, you have got to be kidding me. Mac will have no problem firing you if you stop showing up. He will have no problem finding someone to replace you. And what the fuck is with all the alcohol? Lindsay called me last night. She and Stella are worried. They said you drank way too much and then went home with a stranger. That isn't like you Kristina."

Kristina turned on him. She was livid. "Fuck you! You obviously don't fucking know me. I'm doing just fine. In fact, I've never felt better! So what if I drink. I like it. It makes me feel good. So what if I go home with a stranger. Maybe I just wanted a one night stand with no strings attached. Lord knows I can't get that with you! The only time you'll just fuck me is when you're drunk and thinking about her!"

Flack didn't say anything. He just grabbed her and held her. Kristina fought her way out of his grasp and looked at him with fire in her eyes. She slapped him. He never even saw her hand coming. But he was prepared for the next one. He grabbed her wrist to keep her from slapping him again. He grabbed her other hand just to be safe and she fought against his grip.

"Stop! Just stop and listen to me dammit! No I'm not going to just fuck you! I care about you too much! You're destroying yourself Kristina and it kills me to see you acting like this! Where is this coming from? There's something wrong with you and you need to get help!"

"There is nothing wrong with me! I'm perfectly fine! I feel better than I ever have! You were the one who wanted me to get over him! Well guess what; I'm over him! You're just pissed that I didn't come to you! You're upset that I didn't want you this time! I went and found someone else! And that makes you jealous! You have no right to be jealous! I'm not yours!"

"I never said you were mine! I don't care who the fuck you went to! I don't care who you fucked! I just know that it's not you! You don't act like this! I'm upset because I love you and I hate to see you do this to yourself!" With that he let go of her and stormed out of the apartment. Kristina was left standing there in a state of shock, tears streaming down her face.


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: Thanks for the reviews and for adding the story to your alerts/favorites! Special thanks to Brina for discussing the story with me. You're amazing!**

* * *

Kristina hadn't spoken to Flack in three months. At least not outside of work. They were adult enough to remain professional, but when they were off the clock they didn't even acknowledge each other.

At first, Kristina had felt fine. She was still upbeat and had a lot of energy. She went out almost every night and always ended up going home with some stranger. But the past couple of weeks she could feel herself slipping back into a depression. Some days she was happy and fine. Others she was sad and didn't want to get out of bed.

To make matters worse, Flack seemed to have stopped caring about her. Ever since the night they had gotten into that fight, he ignored her. She assumed that he didn't want to wait for her to ask for help and had just given up.

Kristina had to admit that she missed him. She missed not getting to tease him everyday at work. She missed not getting to have lunch or dinner with him. Hell, she just missed being able to stand close to him. Kristina felt like a part of her disappeared the night he walked out her door. A part of her that she didn't realize existed. The part that belonged to Donald Flack.

Kristina took another swig of whiskey from the bottle. She was in so much pain because of him. She just wanted it to go away. She had to do something to get rid of it. She had to make the pain go away.

Getting up from the table, Kristina carried the bottle of whiskey into the bathroom. She set it down on the counter and looked in the mirror. Who was this person staring back at her? Her once bright green eyes were now cold and lifeless. Kristina didn't recognize herself and that scared her.

Her foreign eyes fell on her razor. No, she couldn't. But maybe. Just maybe it would help. She knew it wasn't healthy, but how many times had she heard someone say that it helped make the pain disappear. At least for a little bit. Kristina made up her mind in a split second.

She took another swig of whiskey and picked up the razor. She easily removed one of the blades and just held it in her hand for a moment. Kristina took one last swig and then touched the blade to the skin of her wrist.

All of her pain seemed to melt away. It left her body along with the small drops of blood. She had cut deep enough to draw blood, but not too deep. And she had placed it in a perfect position so that her watch band would cover it. She sighed and slid down to the floor. Resting her head against the wall, she cried small tears of relief. She felt a little better. She hadn't felt like this in a long time.

* * *

Flack lay in bed, staring at the ceiling. He had been awake for about an hour and could not get back to sleep. He had no idea what had woken him up, but it would not let him fall asleep again.

Flack's thoughts turned to Kristina. He had been thinking about her a lot lately. He missed her. He missed the smell of her shampoo. He missed being able to hug her. He missed seeing her smile.

Over the past couple of weeks Kristina had stopped smiling. She seemed to be slipping back into a depression. He wished he could be there for her but…

To be honest, he couldn't think of a reason why he couldn't be there for her. It had been him who walked away without a word. It was him who had stopped answering her calls and stopped seeing her outside of work. She had tried to talk to him, but he wouldn't let her. He pushed her away. So that meant he could pull her back couldn't he?

Flack made up his mind in a matter of seconds. He got up and quickly got dressed. He grabbed his keys and walked out the door. He was going to see her. He was going to help her.

* * *

Flack knocked, but received no answer. He knew that she had to be home because he had seen her light on when he walked by the building. Kris never left her lights on when she wasn't home. He raised his hand to knock again when the door opened.

Kristina was standing before him. It was obvious she had been crying and drinking. She was wearing her favorite shirt from her college, Pace University, and a pair of his high school sweatpants. How she had gotten them, he had no idea. Flack had to admit that Kristina definitely didn't look her best right now, but she still took his breath away. She had this raw beauty that made him weak at the knees.

"What do you want?" she asked angrily, bringing him back to reality.

"Look Kris, can I come in?"

"No."

"God Kris, please? I'm sorry. Please let me in."

"I don't want to see you. I don't want to talk to you." With that she slammed the door in his face.

Kristina leaned against the door. Why had she done that? Why hadn't she let him in? She wanted to see him more than anything, so why had she told him she didn't? What was wrong with her?

She knew what was wrong. He had walked out three months ago. Not just out of her apartment, but out of her life. And he assumed that he could come back and everything would be like it was before. That wasn't the case. Things would never be the same.

Kristina was not looking forward to going to work the next day. She didn't want to see him. She didn't want to see him ever again. But what other option did she have? Actually she knew exactly what her options were. Kristina made up her mind quickly and decided that she would go talk to Mac in the morning.

Kristina threw the empty whiskey bottle in the trash, hearing it clank against the other bottles. She grabbed a band aid to put over the self-inflicted cut on her wrist and went to bed.

"Everything will be better in the morning," she said to herself as she slowly drifted off to sleep.

* * *

"Hey Mac, can I talk to you for a sec?"

"Sure Kristina. Come on in."

Kristina walked into her boss' office and closed the door. He gestured for her to sit down, but she declined. She wanted this to be quick. She was nervous as hell.

Mac settled himself back in his chair. "What's going on Kristina? I didn't think you were supposed to be here until this afternoon."

"I'm not. Um, I'm sure you know by now that Flack and I aren't speaking anymore. We had a kind of falling out a few months ago and up until now I've been okay with seeing him only at work. But I can't take it anymore. The pain I feel every time I see him is too much. I hate to do this to you, but it's the only way I can make the pain and hurt go away. I quit."

With those last two words, Kristina took her badge off of her belt and set it on Mac's desk. She silently turned around and walked out of the office before he could say anything.

Mac sat at his desk for a few moments, staring at her badge, before he got up and hurried after her. When he reached the elevator he ran into Flack.

"Don have you seen Kristina?" he asked urgently.

"Not today, why?"

Mac held up her badge. "She quit."

Flack sighed. "I'm going to go find her. Just don't put it on the books yet okay? Please?"

"I'll give you until the end of the day. After that, I'm making it official."

"Thank you Mac. Thank you. I promise I'll get her to come back." He turned to leave, but Mac held him back.

"You should know that she quit because of you. She said it was the only way to get rid of the pain she felt every time she saw you." He let go of Flack's arm and walked back to his office.

Flack stared at Mac for a moment and then swiftly got back on the elevator. He had to get her back; both at the lab and in his life. He knew he would get her back. And when he did he would never let her go.


	7. Chapter 7

**AN: Thank you so much for the reviews and for adding the story to your alerts/favorites! It makes me really happy to know that y'all are enjoying it. Special thanks to Brina for discussing the story with me and for helping me out near the end :)**

* * *

Kristina stabbed the button for the tenth floor. After leaving the lab she had walked around for two hours. She hadn't been ready to go back home, but now she had nothing else to do. She knew that quitting had been the right thing to do. It was the only way she would be able to forget him. Sure she would miss her friends and colleagues, but they all reminded her of him.

She got off the elevator and started toward her apartment, but stopped when she saw someone sitting there. It was him. Why was he there? Was he going to try and convince her to go back? Kristina silently swore that whatever he tried, he wouldn't get her to go back. She slowly walked up to him.

"Don, what are you doing here?" Her voice cracked when she said his name. She looked down at him and saw that he had been crying.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. His voice was so low she could barely hear him.

"Don…" Kristina sighed. She knew he wasn't going to leave anytime soon. "Why don't you come in?"

He stood up and smiled at her gratefully. He moved aside so she could open the door and they both walked into the apartment.

"So, what do you want?" Kristina said as she turned around. Before she could realize what was going on his lips were crashing down on hers. She tried to fight him at first, but the kiss felt so good, so familiar. She quickly gave in. The kiss deepened and they only broke apart when the need for air became too strong.

Kristina took a step back. "Don what hell?"

Flack looked at her. He had spent the last two hours thinking about what he was going to say. In the moment however, he just let everything he had held inside for the last three months pour out.

"Kris I'm sorry. For everything. I shouldn't have walked away. I was hurt. I was jealous. I cared about you too much to see you self-destruct. I wanted to help make you better, but you wouldn't let me. I've missed you. I've missed the smell of your shampoo and seeing your smile in the morning. Oh God have I missed that beautiful smile. I realize now that it was the only thing that got me through each day. I want you Kris. I need you. We belong together. I know you know that. You've always known it. We both have. Please. Please just forgive me and give us a chance."

Throughout the course of his speech, fresh tears had started to fall down Flack's face. The two of them stood silent for a few minutes. Flack mentally urging Kristina to say something.

Kristina couldn't believe what she had just heard. Flack was the last person she expected to see ever again, let alone today, and there he was on her doorstep. He had come back to her. She couldn't believe he was actually standing in front of her. And even better he had said that he missed her. He wanted to be with her. But did she really want to be with him? Oh who was she kidding, of course she did. She had felt incomplete without him in her life. And now he was here. Begging for her to give them a chance. She wanted to give them a chance. She knew they would make it work.

Kristina looked up at Flack's concerned face and smiled. A smile immediately spread across his face. The look in her eyes had removed all doubt from his mind. She cupped his face in her hand and wiped away his tears.

"I'm sorry too. I realize now that I was wrong. You're right. We belong together and I want to be with you. I'm ready to let you in. I'm ready to let you help me. I missed you too. I missed teasing you and going out to eat with you. I miss getting to hug you and just being close to you. I love you Don. I always have."

"I love you too Kris." They stood there for a moment until Kristina remembered something.

"Oh shit!"

"What?"

"I just remembered I quit two hours ago."

Flack laughed. "Don't worry. Why do you think I was here? I'm supposed to work today. Mac was trying to find you and convince you to come back, but you had already left. He ran into me and told me what happened. He said that he wouldn't tell anyone until I tried to get you to come back. He gave me until the end of the day, and then he would make it official."

"Oh really? Well, I think we should hold off on telling him that we're okay."

"You do? And what do you propose we do instead?" Flack asked with a smile.

Kristina smiled and winked. "Make us 'official'."

Flack picked Kristina up and started carrying her into the bedroom. "I love that idea."

* * *

Kristina walked nervously through the lab. Everybody was staring at her, but she didn't care. They were staring because she was walking hand in hand with Flack. When they reached Mac's office, Flack gave her a quick kiss and then stepped aside. They both knew that she had to do this alone. She smiled at him and then walked inside.

"Kristina. Am I hallucinating or did you actually just kiss Flack outside my office?"

"No you're not hallucinating," Kristina said with a laugh. "He and I have talked and we've decided to give it a try."

"Well, that's good to hear," Mac said smiling.

"I was also hoping that maybe I could have my job back?" Kristina's voice went higher at the end, turning the statement into a question.

"You can. On one condition."

"Anything you want, Mac."

"I want you to see a psychiatrist. I think there's something wrong and you need to get help for it."

"I was actually already planning on doing that. I was in denial for a long time, but I realize now that I have a problem and I need help."

"I'm glad you recognize that Kristina."

"Well, I had a little help from a certain detective."

Mac smiled. He reached into his desk and pulled out her badge. "Here you go Kristina. I never told anyone, so it's not official. I hope I don't have to go through this again."

"You won't. I promise."

"Good, now get out of here. Your boyfriend is dying to find out what happened," Mac said nodding toward the door. Kristina turned and saw Flack bouncing up and down. She started cracking up and then walked toward the door. When she got to it, she turned and looked back at Mac.

"Thank you Mac. For everything."

"No problem Kristina."

* * *

"Hi, I'm Kristina Young. It's nice to meet you."

"I'm Dr. Greene. It's nice to meet you as well. So, why don't you tell me about your symptoms?"

Kristina sighed. "Well, several months ago I slipped into a deep depression. I started drinking heavily. Then a couple of months after that I was fine. Better than fine. I felt like I was flying. I continued to drink, but it wasn't to take the pain away. I was drinking for fun. I was also having sex for fun. I went home with a different guy almost every night. That lasted for about two and a half months then I started to slip back into the depression. And now here I am."

"Here you are. Well Kristina, it sounds like you are suffering from manic depression, or bipolar disorder. I'm going to give you a prescription for lithium. It is effective in treating both episodes of mania and depression. There are some side effects as with all medications. And you will need to get monthly blood tests to check your liver function and platelet counts. We should also set up a weekly appointment. Was today at this time good for you?"

"Um, yeah it was fine."

The doctor smiled. "Good. I'll have Michelle put you down for this time slot. Do you have any questions?"

"Um, not that I can think of right now."

"Okay. If you think of any don't hesitate to call. Do you have my card?"

"I'm sure my boyfriend already picked up five of them," Kristina said with a laugh.

"Well, that's perfectly normal. It's good that you have him. I've found that it helps when you have someone, whether it's a friend or a loved one, to help support you."

"Thank you doctor. I'm glad I have him too," Kristina said as she stood up. "It was nice to meet you and I'm looking forward to seeing you again."

"It was nice to meet you as well. I'll see you next week."

Kristina shook the doctor's hand and then walked out of the office. She stopped at the receptionist, to pay for the visit and then walked out into the waiting room. There she saw Flack, sitting alone and reading a magazine. She had him forever now. He would always be with her, right by her side. And she knew that with him by her side, she would be okay.

**The End**

**

* * *

**

AN: I just completed my first fic! I just completed my first fic! I just completeted my first fic!!!!!! Okay I'm good now.

Well that's the end of this story, but not the end of Kristina and Flack. I'm working on the sequel as you read this and will be posting it soon. I also have a oneshot that is a prequel, but has nothing to do with the plot of either story. It's just a bit of fun. That will be up soon as well. Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed it :)

~Jess


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